Be honest — when someone shares a tough experience at work, do you find it easier to connect with certain people over others?
That’s not just coincidence. It’s empathetic bias — our tendency to empathise more with people who feel familiar, who seem like “us.”
And here’s the uncomfortable truth:
🧩 When we see someone as being part of an “outgroup” — due to race, gender, background, age, language, or culture — our natural empathy often drops.
This isn’t because we lack compassion. It’s because empathy is influenced by the shortcuts our brains take every day. The problem is, those shortcuts can get in the way of fairness and inclusion.
🔍 Imagine a colleague tells you their name is often mispronounced in meetings.
Do you instantly feel the weight of that? Or do you catch yourself thinking, “Is it really that big of a deal?”
This moment of hesitation — that gap — is where empathetic bias lives.
It’s also where inclusive leadership begins.
Inclusive leaders don’t wait for stories to be “undeniably horrendous” before they act. They tune in. They believe experiences, even if they haven’t lived them. And they use their power to do something about it.
💡 Empathy isn’t about agreeing. It’s about understanding and validating — especially when someone’s experience challenges your worldview.
So how do we get better at this?
✅ Seek out perspectives that are different from your own
✅ Reflect on who you feel closest to at work — and who you don’t
✅ Ask: Whose emotions do I instinctively respond to? Who do I tend to overlook?
✅ Practice curiosity before judgment
📍 And when defensiveness shows up (because it will), see it as an invitation to learn — not a reason to shut down.
You don’t need to have lived someone else’s reality to empathise with it. But you do need to be willing to listen, to believe, and to act. That’s what makes empathy a leadership superpower — and a core trait of inclusion.
