Imagine this: You receive a blunt email with feedback you didn’t expect. Your heart rate spikes. You feel misunderstood and maybe a bit attacked.
Now what?
For most of us, the instinct is to react. Defend. Justify. Or ignore.
But inclusive leaders pause. They breathe. They choose their response instead of being hijacked by emotion.
This is emotional agility and it’s one of the most underrated leadership skills. In our book Simplifying Inclusive Leadership, we identify it as a core enabler of psychological safety.
Why? Because how we handle our emotions, especially when triggered, impacts everyone around us. If we respond to dissent, mistakes, or challenge with defensiveness or dismissal, we erode trust. We teach our teams that speaking up has a price.
But if we pause, sit with discomfort, and respond with curiosity, we do something powerful:
We keep the space safe.
✅ Try this:
- Before replying to triggering feedback, wait 10 minutes.
- Ask yourself: “What am I feeling—and what’s underneath that?”
- Respond with a question, not a defence. E.g., “Could you say more about what led you to that perspective?”
Emotional agility isn’t about being emotionless—it’s about staying grounded. And it’s learnable.
